On Speaking While Speechless

This month has been upside down in a bad way. I honestly don’t know what to say. 

What is evident is that I have a lot to learn. We all have a lot to learn. About injustice and white privilege. And once we know better, as our friend Maya Angelou made famous, we must do better. Black lives matter. 

The morning Ahmaud Arbery’s story was made known, I was sitting at my desk writing encouragement letters to girls on Operation Breakthrough’s Girls on the Run team. Operation Breakthrough is a children and family center in Kansas City’s urban core, a place dear to my heart where I worked for nearly a decade. I was thrilled to help coach this season. Then COVID struck. Typically, we train to run a 5K. During practices, we would discuss what it looks like to be a strong, brave, kind young woman in our world. Everything was cancelled. 

The 5K would’ve been that weekend, so we wanted to do something for the girls. I found myself speechless and heartbroken as I tried to write to them while learning the story of an innocent man whose life was taken while he was on a run. 

One of the girl’s names that I was writing to is Destiny. Destiny. 

All that I am certain of is that I believe in her beautiful and important future. And I want to work every day to help her towards that as I am able. 

I am at a loss for words again, just a few weeks later. 

I haven’t spoken with Leah about everything, but I will be this coming week. I’d imagine Leah is very confused at everything that is happening. Why would that man do that to George Floyd? Why would people burn buildings? Why is there gas everywhere? Why are people hurting people?

Leah’s mind does not comprehend violence or anger. These images and truths are very confusing for her. 

I’m going to wait until I’m able to talk with Leah to have her voice anything. I can “imagine” what Leah might say, but when I actually talk with her…she’ll most likely hit me with some of that Leah wisdom. 

In the interim, I will continue to search for ways to become more educated on actions that must be taken and how I am able to contribute, with love always at the forefront.

Here’s to turning our minds Upside Down.